Thursday, June 17, 2010

Live Seperately..

Today is the first day kami berjauhan. My husband kat PD and im at Sepang..hahaa takdelah jauh sgt tapi we live seperately. He got job offer kat Accounts Division kat Permaisuri Resort so sayang kalau lepaskan. At first we decided to move together but then after a long thinking, aku buat keputusan untuk stay dulu untuk sementara waktu kat sini, at least until i have finished my maternity leave. Lagipun its just only few months to go before my due date. Lagipun department aku tgh kucar kacir dgn tak cukup orang skrg, newcomers yang nak kena train betul2 and mcm2 lagi, thats the reason im still here although aku sbnrnye mcm dh tawar hati kat sini sbb too stress with the environment...


As for the time being, Ayu will stay with me dulu. She did'nt officially move into my house but lets just consider macam die teman aku jela. Die pun nak kawin bulan 11 ni,of course she will stay with her mom and husband later. Lagipun aku pregnant so tak bagus jugak duk sorang2 right?? But of course things will never be the same without my hubby..oh my..i started to missed him already as i wrote this..maybe aku terlalu manja or mengada2 sgt kot..but i know im an independant woman so i can do it..yes i can!! Just anggap ni satu pengorbanan untuk our child yang bakal lahir tak lame lagi.. we both had to work had cari duit untuk prsiapan nak bela die nnti..i just want nothing but the best for our child..


Sekarang pun baby banyak bergerak specially after i started to drink Anmum Materna. I hope its a baby girl. When i said "where's my baby girl?" die kicks a lot. But when i said "where's my baby boy?" die diam pulak..hahahaa i dont know what's that mean but obviously im so excited each time it moves happily in my belly...Normally my hubby akan dengar,belai2 perut each time the baby moves but now i have to feel it alone..so sad...


Now that he's no longer staying with me, i feel very sad..im gonna miss him a lot,i might gonna cry tiap kali teringat certain things. Of course i can text him,call him or even go to PD once in a while but yelah..dah hari2 mngadap muka die,tido same2,makan same2,lepak same2,mestila tak biase punye bile first time trpakse seperate..i wish i can go thru all diz..hopefully..with support from my beloved hubby...


And now dah takde lagi orang nak sambut aku balik keje dgn senyuman kerang busuk tu..takde lagi die nak bancuhkan susu every night, takde lagi orang nak pakse aku makan ubat everyday, sape nak masak nasi and lauk like he used to do everyday..takde lagi orang nak mandikan aku pepagi bile aku liat nak bangun gi keje..takde lagi orang aku nak marah2 sbb main game Mobwars 24-7, takde lagi orang yg aku boleh mintak bancuhkan Nestum sambil tgk tv,tolong tutupkan pintu bathroom kalau die terbuka, takde orang nak marahkan aku sbb slalu biar tingkap terbuka untuk kucing curi masuk tido..slalu papa kena buang sampah,basuh baju sbb aku selalu malas dgn bg alasan badan letih,kaki lenguh etc...papa,u're so kind darling..i love you so much and now that you're not here with me anymore...*sigh*


Dont worry bout me papa..syg akan cube jadi strong. Syg cube untuk tak text papa slalu or kacau papa time keje..all the housework syg akn cube settlekan sebaik mungkin..i know im not really a good wife but i had to try sooner or later..kesian papa dpt wife mcm sayang...i promise i will take a very good care of myself and our baby. Sedihnye syg..=(=(=(I dont know how strong i am..whether i can go thru all diz by myself..im gonna miss you..now syg tak dpt lagi sembahyang jemaah dgn papa and bace Yassin same2..sedihnye..omg i dont wanna cry..but my tears dah bergenang ni..so better stop now..
I miss you papa....