Semalam masa tgh study, Ain msg bgtau ayah Ayu dah meninggal and baru dikebumikan petang tu..when i read between the line, im so speechless and mcm tak pecaya..i told niza then i cried....i dont know why but i feel very2 sad.I called my mum and told her..she promise to visit Ayu's mum tomorrow..I cant help it..Patutla lately i've been thinking bout die punye parents je..Dat day when i passed by kedai mkn kat PD,i teringat kedai tu mak bapak ayu dulu penah bwk gi supper..i told my boy that i missed them..
I felt guilty pulak raya hari tu tak dtg lgsg jenguk makbapak die.Just becoz i dh tak kawan rapat ngn ayu, i tak jenguk pun parents die padahal dey treat me like their own daughter dulu masa i hari2 lepak umah ayu..i really feel like i wanted to meet them but im afraid i'll be seeing ayu if i go there..im not avoiding her but i have to admit i mmg ego..i still feel hurt and dissapointed with what she have done previously..mmg i dh maafkan tp to be close like before....maybe susah kot...raya hari tu die tak dtg umah pun..i mmg nk dtg umah die tp sbb ego,i taknak nmpak mcm i yg trhegeh2 padahal bkn i yg wat hal dulu...
My boy said nnti pas habis exam gi lah kejap..since im very busy lately with my asgmnt, thesis, projects and final exam, i decided to meet her parents after exam..tp ajal bapak die dh sampai..im sad..tak sempat jmpe bapak die for the last time..rase trkilan sgt2..if only i sempat jmpe die before die pegi, i wouldnt feel so bad..i feel like i want to appologize to him if i have done anything wrong previously..i really feel guilty to him sbb taknak kwn ngn ayu lg padahal he's hoping too much supaya i boleh ubah ayu..die nak ayu blaja bsungguh2 and pujuk i supaya nasihat ayu..i guess i failed to do so coz what i can see ayu dh byk brubah specially since die couple ngn bf yg muda dr die tu..die bkn lg ayu yg dulu..its sad to see the parents put too much hope on her since die je satu2 harapan keluarga..
Im sory i cannot do anything for her..i wish him rest in peace..trkilan sgt tak dpt jmpe die..tk smpt tggu exam hbs die dh pegi..im so sorry pakcik..if u know how regret i am..all this while i slalu dgr people said hrgai org yg trsyg slagi die msh ade and peluk cium dowang slagi ade peluang coz its too late if the person's gone..i cn never imagine wht am i goin to do if i kat tempat ayu..but im glad she's strong..dr suara die call siang td, she sounds fine tho ade la sdh2 jgk..she appologize and told me how she missed me all this while..i glad she can be strong..coz im not....
