“No one in this world can dictate to you where you can be happy… If you know where and what it is, go for it, just remember... Happiness is not a destiny, it’s a choice...”
It was an advice given to me by my mother few years ago. I still remember the time when I was feeling down where I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t talk, couldn’t eat, or do anything when I broke up with my boyfriend three years ago. All that I did everyday was just cry and cry and cry. Until there’s a time when I realized that he will never come back to me and I just wasting my time and my tears. All I know is he will get marry with her fiancé and he apologies to me because he can’t convert to Muslim, that’s why he choose to follow his own path. After a long time thinking, I let him go with his own life and just pray for his happiness.
Having said all this about relationships, relationships work only when you don’t need them to stay mentally healthy and whole. The situation is much like going to the bank for a loan; you have to show them you really need the money before they’ll give it to you. If you look for relationships because you’re needy person, you throw things off balance. That doesn’t mean you don’t need relationship. Instead, it means that you can’t approach the relationship with your cup out – waiting on a spouse, a child, a parent, a colleague, or a friend to fill it up time and time again. You approach the relationship with your cup full and look for opportunity to pour half into theirs when it’s empty. You cannot approach any other human being and say – aloud or with actions – make me happy. That burden is much too much to bear for another person, no matter how much they love you.
Each of us is responsible for our own happiness.
How do you find happiness within yourself?
How does your cup become full?
When you integrate them into your life, you’ll find that you are less dependent upon others for your sense of well being and you have a healthy friendship to offer others. So much I have learned all these while about relationship.
Maybe I’m not matured enough but I guess knowing and understand all this is enough for me. Now he came back to me but the feeling is different. I don’t love him anymore and I’m happy with my life now even without him... I’m enjoying being single and yes! I’m just happy being me haha…