Absence Part II..

Theres so much things i wish i could express here but i just dont know where to start..

When i heard the news today that Apit was gone, i hardly cant believe it so i opened up his profile and saw many ppl send condolence so its true that he's gone forever...Innalillah wainnalillahiroji'un..semoga rohnya aman dan ditempatkan dikalangan org2 yg beriman.. today im on a night shift but the news make me feel so damn sad n couldnt concentrate on anything..i know all my colleagues realized there's a teardrops in my eyes.i couldnt lie so i just said fren's passed away.
Its like too fast..its just feels like yesterday i talked to him over the phone and tho the conversation was just only few minutes.He forgot my birthday so i called up and he appologize coz he's forgot..i still remember every single word we had when he knew im engaged..he said tak sempat Apit nak masuk minang,dah ade org cop dulu..rugi je kumpul duit.. i dont know whether he's just joking or what coz im just assumed mmg character die suke bergurau with everyone..
I never thought we can be closed coz he's just only my senior in campus..i remembered knowing him since Part 1,we just talk but we got along too fast n mesra cm dh lame kenal. I guess its becoz we both from utara,slalu gurau2,lepak2,buat asgmnt together like others did so thats y terase sgt die dh takde..its hard to explain how kind he is sbb smua pertolongan die still fresh in my mind. Pertolongan yg plg byk mase nak buat Government PR punye asgmnt and Thesis Part 5..boleh kate 70% die yg tolong..Apit u just helped me a lot till i got good gred u know..Thanks to u..all u asking was just having dinner or hanging out with u but i always giving excuses coz its kinda late when u always asked me out specially exam season..im sorry..tp lau ingt2 blk, im happy each time we were together..patutla pit byk kawan..sbb apit slalu buat org happy n senang nak dekat..everybody know how kind u are.tak penah una dgr apit ade musuh ke,tak puas ati ngn sape2 ke..
If only una sempat mintak maaf dgn apit for all d things i've done wrong to u..if only una sempat jumpe apit sblm apit pergi but i have to redha..Maaf Pit..may u rest in peace there..una akan ingat Apit smpai bile2..i know im gonna miss u...thanks for being my best buddy...

The absence Part I..

Semalam masa tgh study, Ain msg bgtau ayah Ayu dah meninggal and baru dikebumikan petang tu..when i read between the line, im so speechless and mcm tak pecaya..i told niza then i cried....i dont know why but i feel very2 sad.I called my mum and told her..she promise to visit Ayu's mum tomorrow..I cant help it..Patutla lately i've been thinking bout die punye parents je..Dat day when i passed by kedai mkn kat PD,i teringat kedai tu mak bapak ayu dulu penah bwk gi supper..i told my boy that i missed them..

I felt guilty pulak raya hari tu tak dtg lgsg jenguk makbapak die.Just becoz i dh tak kawan rapat ngn ayu, i tak jenguk pun parents die padahal dey treat me like their own daughter dulu masa i hari2 lepak umah ayu..i really feel like i wanted to meet them but im afraid i'll be seeing ayu if i go there..im not avoiding her but i have to admit i mmg ego..i still feel hurt and dissapointed with what she have done previously..mmg i dh maafkan tp to be close like before....maybe susah kot...raya hari tu die tak dtg umah pun..i mmg nk dtg umah die tp sbb ego,i taknak nmpak mcm i yg trhegeh2 padahal bkn i yg wat hal dulu...
 

My boy said nnti pas habis exam gi lah kejap..since im very busy lately with my asgmnt, thesis, projects and final exam, i decided to meet her parents after exam..tp ajal bapak die dh sampai..im sad..tak sempat jmpe bapak die for the last time..rase trkilan sgt2..if only i sempat jmpe die before die pegi, i wouldnt feel so bad..i feel like i want to appologize to him if i have done anything wrong previously..i really feel guilty to him sbb taknak kwn ngn ayu lg padahal he's hoping too much supaya i boleh ubah ayu..die nak ayu blaja bsungguh2 and pujuk i supaya nasihat ayu..i guess i failed to do so coz what i can see ayu dh byk brubah specially since die couple ngn bf yg muda dr die tu..die bkn lg ayu yg dulu..its sad to see the parents put too much hope on her since die je satu2 harapan keluarga.. 

Im sory i cannot do anything for her..i wish him rest in peace..trkilan sgt tak dpt jmpe die..tk smpt tggu exam hbs die dh pegi..im so sorry pakcik..if u know how regret i am..all this while i slalu dgr people said hrgai org yg trsyg slagi die msh ade and peluk cium dowang slagi ade peluang coz its too late if the person's gone..i cn never imagine wht am i goin to do if i kat tempat ayu..but im glad she's strong..dr suara die call siang td, she sounds fine tho ade la sdh2 jgk..she appologize and told me how she missed me all this while..i glad she can be strong..coz im not....